Codi: Let God be God


My name is Codi Feltman, and I am senior Sociology major at the University of Mobile. To understand the point of this blog I have to start from the beginning of my internship at LOV. Basically I was given a list of internships by the internship coordinator at the University of Mobile and was told that I had two weeks to choose one. I was grateful for the experience I gained from my previous internship, but I knew that kind of work was not for me. What I learned from that internship was that I wanted help people who couldn’t help themselves. I had heard about LOV from some of my friends who frequently volunteered but never really knew the whole story. In July, I met with Morgan Carnley over coffee to discuss what was expected of me and to get more information on the internship. The meeting went well, but I immediately knew that this internship was going to be completely different from anything that I had experienced before. The reason I say this is because Morgan did something that I will never forget; she prayed with me and over my internship, specifically that I would find my calling whether it be inner-city ministry or something else.

Fast forward to late September, everything about my internship was going great. I LOVE the kids who come to LOV and Camp Faith and the people who work with them. But as many people do in life, I was becoming bogged down not only physically and mentally but spiritually as well. I knew I wasn’t giving it my all in any area of my life because everything became routine. I went to school because I had to. I went to my internship because I had to. To say the least, I was going through the motions. I found a new church that I loved, but I found myself not completely giving it my all. Most of this was because of stress, wondering what I would do next in my life once this year is over. So the first week of October rolls around, and I had the opportunity to attend Catalyst, a Christian leadership conference in Atlanta.

My friends and I headed out for Atlanta Tuesday night. Wednesday we had our first session. I chose to go and hear Jason Russell. Jason Russell is the cofounder of the Invisible Children Organization, this organization tries to remove children from the LRA (Lord’s Resistance Army), a rebel army in Uganda who is under the leadership of Joseph Kony and has abducted 50-80 thousand children. To sum up Jason’s story he basically prayed that God would send him a powerful story that would change the world. Well when you ask, you shall receive. God provided him the opportunity to get involved in a big way. After hearing Jason speak about his story, I was in awe. All I could think about the rest of the day was, “I hope someday God can use me like that.”

The next night while worshiping after a long day of sessions, the lead singer of the band prayed that God would speak clearly to us about whatever was on our hearts. Like I said before, I have really been struggling with what I want to do after college, so of course I prayed for God to speak to me about it. I prayed that God would give me the windows of opportunity to be a world changer like Jason Russell and lead me to the place where I could do that. God revealed to me that I already have those opportunities. He has placed me where I need to be. My internship is my opportunity. “Wow” is all I could think in that moment, God was so dead on. I was doing exactly what I wanted to do but never even realized it. It wasn’t on a global scale, but it was a start. After that moment with God, all my stress and worries went away, and for the first time in a long time, I gave it ALL over to God and worshiped my heart out. Everything felt right for the first time in a long time. God gave me a vision for my life; I am called to be a servant not only of Christ, but a servant of people especially those who can’t help themselves. God placed me at LOV to use me, to help me to grow and learn as well.

The theme of Catalyst was about self-identity, legacy, and leadership. One of the main qualities of a leader is vision; you have to see what is beyond what is right now and be able to take the baby steps to get there. I now have vision for my future and my life. If I can leave a legacy half as great as Jason Russell or John and Dolores Eads, then I will have accomplished God’s vision for my life. To close, I will leave you with the verse Jason Russell shared with us Wednesday night, Psalms 46:10. He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Sometimes we just have to be still and let God be God.